Det finns många olika anledningar för att ge sig ut i löparspåren. En del springer för att hålla sig smal, en del för att orka mer. En del springer av stressen från jobbet eller hemmet, en del för att hålla sig friska. Jag har nog gjort det av alla de anledningarna nån gång under åren. Tidigare sprang jag främst för att orka med mitt jobb som väktare. Dels för att hålla mig fit men också för att skaka av mig en tuff arbetsdag!
Jag började springa igen efter min skada för att jag trodde det skulle göra mig hälsosammare. Och det gjorde det. Men vad som var viktigare; jag springer för att det gör mig hel som människa! Jag har upptäckt med åren att jag har packat min livsryggsäck med mycket skit. Istället för att läka mina blåmärken och sår som livet gett mig, packar jag undan dem och de envisas med att sticka upp sina fula nunor titt som tätt.
Eftersom jag är fantastiskt bra på att visa upp den fasad jag vill, syns min dåliga självkänsla bara vid trängda lägen. Men den styr mitt liv med järnhand! Den sabbar både kärleksförhållanden och vänskaper. Jag tror sällan att jag duger! Men när jag springer duger jag. Inte för att jag är speciellt snabb eller springer långt, utan för att jag gör mitt bästa! Jag trotsar min smärta och snör på mig skorna även de dagar som jag verkligen inte känner för det. I löpspåret lagar jag långsamt sprickorna i min själ.
Yesterday I was asked if I could hold a lecture on health and lifestyle for a class of truckdrivers in November, for 4(!) hours!
I immediately said yes!
Ive hold talks about this before, so its nothing new. But those were for an hour or so and in front of people who are interested in the subject! Not to be judgmental, but truckdrivers arent know for their healthy lifestyle… How can I make the lecture interesting and inspiring? And how will I be able to keep their interest up for 4 hours???
Today I started to go though the material I must cover and… Oh My Gosh how boring!
Well, I have more than two weeks to prepare, and even though it kind of scares the crap out of me, Im totally psyched! This is my kind of challenge! I hope that I will do great, but who knows.
But what I do know is that I will do my very best!
My legs are talking about 21,1 km pavement, my sunburned nose speaks about the heat and the sun, my shoes tells the tale about paper cups mashed with water to a mud and my soul is singing…
I did it, I did it….
It was one of the hardest thing I have ever done and one of the most fun…. At 18 km I wondered why in hell I was tormenting myself like this. At 20 km I smiled and dug in deeper.
When I crossed the finish line I longed for the next time!
The euphoria you get when you finish something challenging, something really hard, is amazing!
I know you shouldn’t judge people on their looks, and I usually try not to. You don’t know anything about them, their lives and what they are going through.
But sometimes I really cant help myself!
Today I went shopping grocery and I strolled round and picked up things I need. I´m quite picky about my food. I´m no health freak, but I think of my body as an engine who needs fuel, not crap. I know whats good for me and most of the time I stick to that kind of food. I don´t think particularly less of those who choose to eat crappy food, but I know that my way is healthier!
I came across a woman, whose whole appearance screamed unhealthy. It wasn’t only because of the sweatpants, the uncombed hair, the belly fat that oozed out between the pants and the sweater. It was a glow of negligence….
As it turned out she appeared after me at the cash register and I got to look at the content of her grocery shopping…. 2 huge bottles of a cheap brand of coke, 5-6 cans of energy drinks, a Swiss roll, some candy and 2 packs of smoke! OK, this maybe was a bad day for her, but quite frankly I don’t think so…
This makes me sad! I wonder if she really knows how great your body can feel when you treat it right? Or has life been so disappointing to her that she has given up?
I´ve been doing some strength training with my physiotherapist since last summer to get me back in my running shoes. And I must say that it really helps! I´ve seen and felt the results and I´m really gonna keep it up even though I think it´s kind of boring…
But every article I ever read about strength training and running points at one direction; You need it to become a better runner and to prevent injuries!
Running is perfect for you. The body loves to run! But if running is your only training (as for me), it can tear you down. Pounding those miles tear on your muscles and tendons…
So incorporate some strengthening exercises in your training and you too will see results.
These I haven´t tried before, but wow, right on the money spots….
These last weeks I have felt so strong!
I’ve run faster and longer and with less pain. It has been amazing. On top of the world!
The last few days, not so much! I´ve caught some kind of bug. My stomach has been dancing polka and not in a good way. I haven’t been vomiting but without getting into detail, I´ve been sticking close to a toilet…
The thing is that a stomach bug I can handle, but I realize how fragile my health is. Now my tummy is calm, but I ache all over! Yep, It started an inflammation. I am used to it and it will pass in a few days. I know this.
BUT I`M TOTALLY FRUSTRATED!
I don´t feel like resting! I don´t feel like skipping work-outs! I don´t feel like feeling weak again…..
5 weeks to go….
When I started jogging again for about a year ago, this goal seemed impossible. Jogging in it self seemed impossible!
A back injury 9 years ago, left me with chronic hip/pelvic inflammations and damaged nerves in my right leg. Not to serious. I could still walk and run but painfully. The nerves played tricks on me and I had burning sensations in my legs and “ants” crawling 24/7. Not really pleasant I can tell you. But something I had gotten used to!
But my life wasn’t quite right! I missed my active life! I missed running!
So, against my doctors recommendation I started running again. Painfully! But still running!
I found I physiotherapist that was expert in sport-injuries and followed his exercises, and slowly got stronger. Slowly the pain got less overpowering!
Then I set a new goal. A big one! A goal that really tickled me and frightened me at the same time. I would run a half-marathon! My first half-marathon! With my bum leg and all…
If I could do this I could do ANYTHING!
This week I got my start-number and start-group…. And it became oh, so real!
Now, the countdown clock is ticking away here on the blog site… A small reminder to me that time is running out on my preparations. It is soon time to conquer the goal I´ve set for myself! It is time to prove to myself and to everyone around me that; I CAN DO THIS!
Today I took my new shiny shoes for a test run. Happy feet, happy me!
I bought new shoes last fall and they are totally fine miles wise, but I never really connected with them. They were never really right. It’s like a relationship. What’s good on paper doesn’t always work in reality.
So back to the place were all the shiny new shoes lives. This time I grab on to a sales gay and were specific!!! This I like, this I don’t! It took time. We tried a whole lot of shoes and there they were…My new found love: Nike Pegasus. My pretties in pink!
They fit like a glow. They’re light, they give my toes some wiggle room and yes they are….pink, but I fell in love!
The only bad thing. I also fell for the enthusiastic sales guy who talked about running like it was his mistress…. Yum! Where can I get one if those?
Some days the runs are so easy. So effortlessly. So enjoyable!
Today was one of those day! A run you want to take a memory snap-shot of and keep in mind every other days when it hurts, when it is heavy, when all you want to do is quit. Today was a day when the kilometers flow away under my feet. Not fast, but steadily…
I had a slow, 8-10 km run planned because my legs were tired and hadn’t recovered from Wednesdays blow-out on the treadmill (intervals….). I kept the slow tempo and had one of those rare runs when all you feel is happy and strong and in love with the world around you. When I reached home again the GPS showed 12,8 km and I felt amazing!
Yes, I know, it sounds totally silly. But the endorphin kick you get is priceless and more or less the same feeling you get when you’re in love…
Today I fell in love with the doctor who forced me to eat anti-inflammation pills for the last couple of weeks. I fell in love with my physiotherapist who make me do strength training for my hip.
I feel in love with life again!
And I know that the feeling will pass and the happy-hormones will drain from my body. But right now…
I smile and enjoy the feeling.
Right now. All is right in my world!
I have been fairly isolated the last few weeks. Trying to study, looking for work, and training. Neither with good results. So the blues have gotten a hold on me!
The inflammation in the muscle attachment of my hip has getting worse and finally I gave in and started with anti-inflammation drugs. The result of that? Well, not worse I guess, but not much better either.
But I keep up with my running. It is now only two month left until my first half-marathon in Gothenburg, Sweden. That´s my big goal. This is one of the reasons I keep pushing myself and my bum leg. This is one of the reason a decided to start running again. I can´t quit!
Another good reason for pushing through the pain och tolerating the acid stomach the pills give me; It is the only thing I have left that makes me hold my head high!
The rest is total crap!
But the pride I take in completing my workouts, the pride of sticking to my goal, the pride of not giving up… That is the only thing in my life that makes sense right now.
So I keep running and keep pushing through the pain, hoping beyond all hope that it will pass..